Your Horoscope For Today Lyrics

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Vedic raj astrology

  1. Weird Al Your Horoscope For Today Lyrics
  2. Your Horoscope For Today Song Lyrics
  3. That's Your Horoscope For Today Lyrics
Your horoscope for today lyricsYour Horoscope For Today Lyrics

Weird Al Your Horoscope For Today Lyrics

AQUARIUS!There's travel in your future when your tongue freezesto the back of a speeding busFill that void in your pathetic life by playing Whack-A-Mole 17 hours a day
PISCES!Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the Ebola virusYou are the true Lord of the Dance, no matter whatthose idiots at work say
ARIES!The look on your face will be priceless when you findthat 40-pound watermelon in your colonTrade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give ahickey to Meryl Streep
TAURUS!You will never find true happiness - what you gonnado, cry about it?The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up, do a bunchof stuff and then go back to sleep
That's your horoscope for todayThat's your horoscope for todayThat's your horoscope for todayThat's your horoscope for today
GEMINI!Your birthday party will be ruined once again by yourexplosive flatulenceYour love life will run into trouble your fiancehurls a javelin through your chest
CANCER!The position of Jupiter says that you should spend therest of the week face down in the mudTry not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose whiletaking your driver's test
LEO!Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt andstaple it to your boss's face, oh noEat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding, then wash itdown with a gallon of strawberry Quik
VIRGO!All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent -except for youExpect a big surprise today when you wind up withyour head impaled upon a stick
That's your horoscope for todayThat's your horoscope for todayThat's your horoscope for todayThat's your horoscope for today
Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very leasta bit unlikely that the relative position of the planetsand the stars could have a special deep significance ormeaning that exclusively applies to only you, but letme give you my assurance that these forecasts andpredictions are all based on solid, scientific, documentedevidence, so you would have to be some kind ofmoron not to realize that every single one of them isabsolutely true.
Where was I?
LIBRA!A big promotion is just around the corner for someonemuch more talented than youLaughter is the very best medicine, remember thatwhen your appendix bursts next week
SCORPIO!Get ready for an unexpected trip when you fallscreaming from an open windowWork a little bit harder on improving yourlow self esteem, you stupid freak
SAGITTARIUS!All your friends are laughing behind your back..kill themTake down all those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnineyou've got hanging in your den
CAPRICORN!The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderfulperson.. but you know they're lyingIf I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows and nevernever never never never leave my house again
That's your horoscope for todayThat's your horoscope for todayThat's your horoscope for todayThat's your horoscope for today

Your Horoscope For Today Song Lyrics

Provided to YouTube by Volcano/LegacyYour Horoscope for Today 'Weird Al' YankovicThe Essential 'Weird Al' Yankovicâ„— 1999 Volcano Entertainment III, L.L.C.R.

That's Your Horoscope For Today Lyrics

Full details on Auspicious time, aaj ka mahurat and today shubh mahurat with muhurat calculator. Ask Puja muhurat Dates to astrologers. 'Your Horoscope for Today', is a style parody of third wave ska, features Reel Big Fish members Tavis Werts on trumpet and Dan Regan on trombone, and has lyrics about ridiculous horoscopes. Yankovic attributes the lyrics' inspiration to the satirical newspaper The Onion. Thanks to Dennis Haagensen, Gubmrntcheez, Shrinasoldier231 for correcting these lyrics. Your Horoscope For Today. It's All About The Pentiums. Truck Drivin' Song.